I am damn depressed... I dreamt that *ahem* cut queue to buy food. So I smack his head. He smack my head back lah... I hit his head again... But this time, he didn't hit back sia... He kissed me in front of the whole upper sec.. Even the DM was clapping his hand! Hahax ! Which is why I'm depressed. I know this dream is never gonna come true.. Besides, the DM wud probably kill us, not clap his hands...
Anyway, I got a new number arnd 2 weeks ago... I only pass to a few ppl, then suddenly this guy sms me today.. I got his num, but i didn't giv my num to him... He said he got it from one of our frens.. Hahax...
Today art damn the fun but oso damn the tiring... 4 more days to tahan then cn holiday.. Like real.. Still got band ! Argh! Anyhoo, only 20 days till I finally turn freaking 15 ! Haix... So the stress... And also... Fahry keeps making fun of me coz I told him abt the dream.. T^T... Sad sia... Member laugh at me...
I seriously cant get over Harry and the guy that kissed me in my DREAM. So the sad... I am going loco amigos... Serious bonual uh.. I still like Harry and he's just being soo nice to me and he's like contacting me... I see my future is gonna be bleek..
That's all the stupid stuff abt me... Time to blast Eddy Wata'a songs in my room and get high... See ya arnd aite?
Signing off, Di@_DeviL... Luv the guys who lpk at that block.. Hahax... Anybody who's related to them and reading this.. SSHH... And also to the people who have been with me thru thick and thin! Muax! SiaoZhaBors Rox !
Okay. The weirdest thing just happened yesterday.. I dreamt of a full moon that was red and it had blood dripping from it ! Argh.. And also, I THINK I dreamt that I got kissed by one of my frens.. Weird.. Luckily it was a guy and NOT a girl... That would be the Katy Perry sonG... "I kissed a girl and i liked it."
Hahax. Anyways.. Sorry for not posting. I was bz rotting in RP.. And had some other stuff too. Anyhoo. The kissing dream was actually about a guy who I've had a crush on since sec 1. And now he's in sec 3. And same stream as me. And he's a Chinese. Very few people know about it. And seriously the dream was damn the real.. I could literally hear the sounds there.. And the place is my fave place to be.
Wish I could dream it over and over and over again... Ugh... Peace...
GTG now.. Updates next time, aite?
Signing off, Di@_DeviL.. Luv ya people muax! Especially my sec 1 crush....
My leg is sort of getting worse.. Ugh... I mean it's seriously hideous!! And it hurts 24/7... I can't even sleep... Anyway, idk why after school everyday I've been seeing Harry... I saw him on the bus and I saw him at the linkway... He was top-half-naked and I could freaking see his six-pec!!! It was sooo HAWT!!! Anyway, not much studying in school this week. Oh and for the restof next week, I'll be at Republic Poly with the rest of my class and 3A.
I actually want to go there yanno... It's sort of an interesting school... I'll be going there from 27 oct-3nov. But... I won't be going on the 29 oct... I have to go to some Health Promotion Board thing... And u wanna noe sumting, there's gonna be a talk abt smoking and AIDS!! Ugh... Whatever, maybe I'll make some new frens there... The only people who I know are going are Fahmi and Hafiz... DotZ!
Somehow, I can feel it in my blood that the guys from Nad's class are going too... LoLz~ That's all the updates for now... More next time aites??
Signing off, Di@_DeviL.. Luv ya people out there!!
Dudes... My leg is getting worse-er!! The wound is all pinkish and yellow-ish... It hurts!! Stupid Flying Onion... Why would a person wanna throw an Onion in the first place? Why not throw a banana or an apple? Why an onion? I mean, it looks like a freaking egg!! Which is why in the first place I ran into what I thought was a patch of grasss but it turns out that UNDER the grass, was a drain.. -.-"
Anyhoo... Nad and me passed by Adi, Hakim, Amirul, Taufiq, Ameir and Wan today...At the old lepak place.. Well, not really. It's just a place where they sit down everyday.. Hahax! Well, they seemed to be going fishing... -.-" It was sort of weird... After we left, they went down towards the canal... Yes, they were fishing in the longkang... I've done that before... But I never really caught anything... But, when I fish in the see, I caught some.... Weird!
So, we walked and talked about the band concert which is in TWO WEEKS TIME!! Argh!! I'm so freaking nervous siol.. And it's on my fave 'holiday'.. HALLOWEEN!!! Where all the spirits of the dead rise and walk on Earth... Ermm... I think... That's what I read anyway on www.sfogszero.com It's such an interesting website and one of my favourites now...
I feel kind of bad not going for band... And itr's all coz of my stupid leg... I can't even walk properly coz it hurts like CRAZY!!! But.. I'm bearing with the pain for now... At least it was better than yesterday... Where I had to resort to using the bloody alcohol swab.. The pain was like getting stung by like a million bees... Okay, I'm exaggerating... LoLz~
Anyway, this Friday is the School Bazaar... I don't think I'm gonna be buying anything... It's actually kinda boring... But, I hope my class will come up with a great game to play.. And I'm sure Nad's class will make some great food... ^_^ LoLz~
That's all the talk for now...
Signing off, Di@_DeviL.. Luv u guys... And THEM... hehe... MUAX~~
I was soo damn busy during the weekends. Here's what happened:
Saturday: Went to a bbq at my bro's chalet.. Went home at 4am in the morning... One of my bros' frens' talked to me. She's a really nice person...
Sunday: Went to WEST MALL to watch Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs with the SiaoZhaBors... After that, we walked arnd the place and finally went back to Lot 1 for dinner at PizzaHut.. Farah was werking that day. I ate Lasagne. As usual... Then after that JuicElizz hui jia lo.. Only left me and sotongDarling.. We sort of walked around the CCK estate. While eating marshmallow. -.-" I know, we are weird.. LoLz~ After that, we went back to Lot 1 and I SAW Harry!! LoLz~
Monday: Went to watch Surrogates with my dad. The movie started at 5.40 so we had a couple of hours to kill. We went to KFC to eat. After that walked around. By the time the movie started, I was sleepy.. Darn... After that, bussed to CCK Ave 4 block 459... To visit my cuzzies and aunt.. ^-^... So happy...
Back to school tomorrow. Gt band... Can't wait.. Even though I practically got problems walking. The wound is basically driving me nuts... And it's all thanx to the flying Onion... It's a secret.. So keep quiet about it aite?
Signing off, Di@_DeviL.. Luv u people out there! Muax!
Oh wait... One more thing... On the way home, saw Adi and Hazri.... LoLz~ Random siol.... And I also fell into a longkang thus scraping my skin... OUCH!!!!!!!
Today was fun yet disappointing... Coz number 1, I was healthy enuf to go to school.. Number 2, I got the yearbook for 2009...
The disappointing part was, Number 1, We lost the Handball game.. Number 2, Ameir, Amirul and Hakim didn't come... Blueks...
But I still had fun screaming my lungs out... LoLz~ At least the guys got into the quarter finals... Then during recess, me, Min Yi, Jia Jin and Melissa go disturb the teachers by asking for autograph...
Sooooo... My stinking exams are finally OVER!!!!!!!!! And now.. I dunoe what to do and currently dying of boredom... Blueks... Anyway... Along the way to school... Didn't really see them... And by them I mean Ameir and Adi... Usually see them in the morning but... Maybe they came in late.. LoLx...
In school.. After log in. went to canteen to buy the usual thingss... Then had the usual assembly... Haiz.... Nad finished earlier.... So had to go home alone... Blueks...
Well, today I seem to be damn suay... I was just about ot set foot out of school, then started to drizzle... I just continued walking coz drizzle usually no harm... Then suddenly, it started to rain like Hell.. So I rant ot the neares HDB block, 429.. Sat down for awhile.. I was staring at the freaking linkway.. Long time never lepak there. I probably won;t set foot there for a long time... I remembered all the fun times I had there.. Hahax... And the guys who hung out with me... Haix.... Memori, memori...
So, the rain wasn't so bad.. I continued walking and passed by his house... LoLz.... The door was closed.... I coninued walking and looked at the time.. It was past one o'clock siol... I mus've sat down for a long time.. Stupid rain.. LoLz~ Just kidding...
Actually, I love the rain.. In fact, back in the teck whye campus, me and my frens used to run in the rain to get to the Macdonald's nearby... It was damn fun and I was always damn wet... From head to toe... Blueks... But, the weird thing was, I never get sick from the rain..
Anyway... That's all the talking I'll do today... More next time aite?
Signing off, Di@_DeviL... Love u people out there! And those 7 guys... And that one guy who can't seem to make up his mind...
Who the bleeding Hell logged on to my Facebook account at 12am in the freaking morning???!!!!!
OMF-ingG!!! I am so freaking pissed off right now.... Doesn't anybody know the meaning of privacy?? I changed the password already though.. So no idiot asshole can hack into it.. I should probably change the email add too.. Just to be on the safe side... Btw, saw somebody's blog and harry tagged it.. It was kinda sad, but... He still likes her so I understand..
Signing off, Di@_DEvil..
Luv u guys and Him and one other guy, who I wanna apologize to.. But he lied to me first so I guess we're even...
I chatted with him. And I confessed. LoLz~ But he said he liked someone else. I knew. But I told him anyway. Hahaz...
I hate keeping things in my heart. Especially crushes that have been around for more than a year. At first I was afraid that he would just log off, but he was actually okay with it. LoLz~ Again... He told me that he still liked his ex. I was okay with it. I know his ex and I'm actually wondering why doesn't he just patch with her sia? He's actually one of the nicer guys among them. And he always had these random things to say. Oh yeah, and he has Short Term Memory [STM]. =.="
Though it was weird to chat and talk to him, I was actually happy. I missed talking to him the most. Coz, like I said, he was the one of the nicer guys. No wait, I take that back. He's the NICEST among them. He made jokes that were quite lame, but it made me laugh. He told stories, which were quite personal, but I listened anyway. He used to wear the same thing whenever we lepak at the usual place.
So, it was cool when he talked to me that day. Though I know he won't like me that way, I wanna thank him for being a good fren...
You deleted our blog.... Why?? I'm sorry okay.... I didn't mean for it to happen that way... I swear.... Pls... Don't disappear again.. I can't stand it.... PLS... You were already gone for more than a year... When they hurt you and threatened you, how did you think I felt? I didn't like it either but... I was crying after that....
You know... If u got another girlfriend, just own up. I hate liars and cheaters.. Just tell me the truth in front of my face that you have another girlfriend. Then, I wouldn't have to waste my tears on you... You know who you are...
i love him but he's thinking of ending it. Yeah. So... I'm just gonna bang my head against the wall and bleed. Then, while still bleeding, I'm gonna blast out my Techno, jumpstyle, hardstyle, tecktonik songz. And maybe a couple of other damn loud songz that can give my an instant migraine. See ya....
I got nothing to say today... LoLz.. It's a good thing I guess.. Coz I dun even trust what I say... As it might hurt the people I love the most... And to that person out there, I'm sorry...
I guess I'm a heart breaker... And a life ruiner.... And basically every single bad thing u can think of.... Well, i got nothing else to say, except for one thing... Treasure the ones you love and hold on tight to them...
Signing off, Di@_DeviL Love you guys... Muax.. And this ones for the guy out there, MUAX!
Pics are courtesy from Chua Kai Lin, a fellow art student and gewd fren of mine.. I know some of these look damn emo.. Tell me abt it.. But.. The truth is.. I DAMN LOVE IT SIOL!!!
Thank you Kai Lin!!
Signing off, Di@_DeviL.. Muax.. Love you guys, especially four guys out there... ;D
And to people who THINK they are Donnie, Harry and Jackie, come find me to verify... Coz, these three guys are malay and from my school and they are in sec... 1+1+3-4+5-4=____. Got it... And a guy from their class is currently the one taggin me on my cbox... Mwahaha.. Aku dah bagi bnyk clue tawu... LoL....
And to the tagger, thx dokk... Juz dun spam... Aite?
I dunoe why I keep feeling that I like... This blur guy more than I like this gagap-gagap guy... Hmm... And I mean like.. Not LoVE.... Ni hal, aku tk tawu mcm mane nk solve uh... Hmm... Somebody give me a clue... I likE Harry, Donnie and Jackie... Btw, these are not their real names.... Wanna know who they are? Ask me...
Anyway, these few days, Harry keeps looking at me, Jackie stare and Donnie didn't talk to me since last week.... It totally sux!! I miss talking to Harry and I miss listening to his stories like crazy!! Same goes for Donnie... I guess I can let go of Jackie coz he att... Ew... But i dun love them.. I just miss lepak-ing with them, aite?
Aku terpikeh-pikeh,sejak biler bdk laki dari kelas tu view blog aku... Even though aku tawu salah satu dari dorg yg spam blog aku.. Haiz, tkp lah... Aku tk heran... As long as they dun spam anymore...
Missing You- 1st Lady [Oh I'm missing you. Baby I'm missing you. Baby I'm missing you.] [Things will never be the same without you.] What did I do to deserve this? I didn't even get one last kiss... from you. Oh Baby God took your love from me. You needed an angel so it seems. I need to feel you hands all over me. I need to feel you kissing me. I need to feel you holding me. I need to feel your touch. Coz I miss your love so much. And I... can't keep on living this way. I need you here with me. Why could He take you away... from me? It's hard for me to tell you I love you. As I'm standing over your grave. When I know I'll never hear your voice again. Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you just stay? Because my world is nothing... without you. Now I don't know what to do... with myself. I would have given you anything just to make you happy. Just to hear you say that you love me... one last time. I've gone to Hell and back, over and over again. Just to prove to you how much I need you here. There is nothing that I wouldn't do. I'd cry for you. I lied for you. And there's no doubt that if I could take your place in Heaven, I would die for you coz I would. I would rather give up my life. Than to see tears in your eyes. I can't stand to see you cry. Coz it's hard for me to tell you I love you. As I'm standing over your grave. When I know I'll never hear your voice again. Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you just stay? Because my world is nothing... without you. Now I don't know what to do... with myself. I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't stand looking at those pictures on my shelf. Knowing that it was just one week ago. Stood there and took that picture. There's just one thing I wanna know. Why would God wanna hurt me so bad? Does He know how much it hurts... to be missing you? Baby, I'm missing you. Baby I'm missing you. I love you, woah. God damn it I love you. Why did He take you away... from me? Coz I love you so. I miss you so much Baby. I just can't go on Baby.
If You're Not the One - Daniel Bedingfield
If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call? If you are not mine, then would I have the strength to stand at all? I never know what the future brings, but I know you're here with me now. We'll make it thru, I hope you are the one I share my life with. I don't wanna run away but I can't take it. I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then, why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms??? If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed? If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head? If you're not for me, then why does the distance maime my life? If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife? I don't know why it's so far away. But I know that this would just prove that you'll make it through. And I hope you are the one I share my life with. And I wish that you would be the one I die with. And I pray it, you're the one I build my home with. I hope I love you all my life. I don't wanna run away but I can't take it. I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then, why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms??? Coz I miss you. Body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away. And I breathe you, into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today. Coz I love you whether it's wrong or right, you know I can be with you tonight. You know my heart is by your side. I don't wanna run away but I can't take it. I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then, why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms???
Fine.. I deleted the pic.. Happy? Or u still upset? Anything you want, just write it out.. I dun care abt spammers anymore! Driving me insane... Wanna spam? Just put your real identity lah... I ain't gonna do anything to hurt u anyway.. I'm not sure abt other ppl though....
I got nothing on me... Except... Well, during recess time, I was sort of frustrated with this certain person... SO I go n shout out 'DONKEY', when I was assembling after recess.. It was funny sia.. But then Mi Yi point up and say that he turned around... I am so damn suay sia!!! That's all..
I spent half an hour writing this. And yeah, I'm sorry for hurting the people I hurt in the past. Including Fie and Ameir & Gang. Ameir&Gang might be hating me now. Coz I have made a lot of mistakes. Including making fun of them and basically giving them the wrong nickname. And to Fie, I'm seriously stressed right now. I really hope you can understand how I'm feeling. I guess you being back in my life is still hard for me toaccept. I mean a whole year and I know I've changed. I've been gettin into a lot of trouble and I guess I can change back to how I was before I even met you a year ago. I realise my mistake and I'm sorry. To the malay girls from 2B, I'm sorry to you guys to. I know you hate me, well, you have the right to. Sorry for the wrong things I said.
And here, I will start changing. Coz, i have caused enough pain to the people I love and care for.
During yesterday's Lit test, I created a Poem.. Hahax.. Quite funny actually... Here goes nothing..
CONFUSION Confusion, Confusion, Just go away. Please dn't lead my mind astray. I really wanna make up my mind. Please just give me one sure sign. Confusion, Confusion, leave me alone. Back to EmoLand and break a bone. SH, MC? ADW or Fie? All these choices. And you leave me no clue. What the Hell am I supposed to do? Kill myself or just feel blue? I hate you, I hate you! You always do this to me. Can't you just open your eyes and see? That I'm only a teenage girl. In this huge ass world. Trying to survive, My fucking horrendous life. But... In a way. I think I might, Be able to fight off, this feeling of loneliness. Coz, I know deep down, I have the will to do it. And I will be able to prove it. Despite not being able to choose between four guys. It's gonna be difficult but I will never despise 'em Even if it drives me mad. I hope thye won't be sad. After I make my choice. I might lose my voice.
That's all I came up with so far. Iknow it sux, but, this is how I REALLY feel deep down inside..
Okay, firstly, whoever this fucking spammer is,Freena or Banana or watever ur name is FUCK OFF LAH CHIBAI! And u think I'm a piece of trash or wat? Throw away nenek kau lah sial! Kalau dier brani throw away aku, tahu lah naseb dier. Fine, i dun give him wat he want. But i still luv him.. So, beat it bitch!
And secondly, I apologise to AMEIR & GANG, okay? Aku btol-btol minta maaf. Aku ukan nyer sengaje nk kutok korg... Kalaw korg tk maafkan aku, then that's fine. I know u hate me anyways.
And thirdly, I'm having this motherfucking irritating pain at the back of my head. So, I'm literally going crazy rite now.
I just realised the weirdest thing ever this week.... My enemies... Are NOT HQ... My enemies are actually the people who I thought cared about me and who I have been calling 'Sis' for the past few months...
HQ have actually been nice to me... They didn't do me any harm... Hell, they didn't even lay a single finger on me.. Before this stupid thing happened, the accepted me as their fren.. Hahahax.. I still remember all of us hanging out together at 429.. It was so fun...
They were sort of there when I needed them.. Especially SkinHead.. He doesn't really know it.. But he helped me out the most... Hahax... I won't reveal how, but yeah, he's the best bro...
Oh yeah... This is a warning to bj-lover... If you think you know how it do bj, and you LOVE doing it so much... Go and sell your body lah sial.. Kau maner nyer terror sial... Aku tk kacaw kau, kaw jgn kacaw aku uh.. Kalaw brani spam, brani letak namer betol... Jgn jadi jantan tkd bodek ataaw pompuan tkd puki uh sialan jubo peh anak haram.... Kau ingt kau free-free boleh spam aku? Why don't you make ur own blog and put up ur own naked pics lah sial!!!!!
I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!I'M STILL BORED!!!!
Give me sumthing to do lah sial!!! Mendak nk mampos kat uma sorg... AND don't make me clean my room!!! It's National Day!!!!
The two songs below definitely show how I feel right now. The first song, Thinking Of You, shows how I feel when I spend time with PukiDonkey. I kept thinking abt my new guy wenever I'm around him. Haiz. The second song, Halo, describes what I see and feel when I spend time with either of them.. It's so fucking frustrating siol...
I wish I could make up my mind who I love the most. But it's too damn hard.. Most of me loves my new guy.. 25% chooses PukiDonkey... I'm gonna explode if I can't stop thinking abt either of them.
Remember those walls I built? Well baby their tumbling down. And they didn't even put up a fight. Didn't even make a sound. I found a way to let you in. But I never really had a doubt. Standing in the light of your halo. I got your angel now. Pre-chorus: It's like I've been awakened. Every rule I had you breaking. It's the risk that I'm taking. I ain't ever gonna shut you out. Chorus:Everywhere I'm looking now. I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can see you halo. You know you're my saving grace. You're everything I need and more. It's written all over your face.Baby I can feel your halo. Pray it won't fade away. I can feel your halo. I can see your halo. Hit me like a ray of dsun. Burning through my darkest night. I swore I'd never fall again. But this don't even feel like falling. Gravity can't forget. To pull me back to the ground again. Pre-chorus: It's like I've been awakened. Every rule I had you breaking. It's the risk that I'm taking. I ain't ever gonna shut you out. Chorus:Everywhere I'm looking now. I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can see you halo. You know you're my saving grace. You're everything I need and more. It's written all over your face.Baby I can feel your halo. Pray it won't fade away. I can feel your halo. I can see your halo. I can fell your halo. I can see your halo. Halo, halo. Oh. Chorus:Everywhere I'm looking now. I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can see you halo. You know you're my saving grace. You're everything I need and more. It's written all over your face.Baby I can feel your halo. Pray it won't fade away. I can feel your halo. I can see your halo. I can feel your halo. Halo. I can see your halo. I can feel your halo, I can see your halo. Halo.
Comparisons are easily done, once you had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from the tree, I pick the ripest one. I still got seeds. You said move on, where do I go? I guess 2nd best is all I will know.
[Chorus] Coz when I'm with him, I am thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you were to do if... You were the one who was.. Spending the night. Oh I wish that I was looking into your.. eyes...
You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter. Like a hard candy with a surprise center. How do I get better once I had the best. You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the water's how it is. He kissed my lips I taste your mouth. He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself.
Coz when I'm with him, I am thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you were to do if... You were the one who was.. Spending the night. Oh I wish that I was looking into your.. The best.. And yes, I do regret, how I bled myself, let you go... Oh... Now, now the lesson's learnt.. I touched and I was burnt. Oh I think you should know.. Coz when I'm with him, I am thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you were to do if... You were the one who was.. Spending the night. Oh I wish that I was looking into your.. Your eyes. Looking into your eyes. Looking into your eyes. _________ And if busting the door and take me away.. Oh,, No more mistakes... Coz in your eyes, I'd like to, stay....
Okay.. Today went to BPP with my AdeqAng, Dya_Devil.. HAHAX... We saw Ika, PukiDonkey, Black and some other people... We kept going back and forth... Then we walk around.. At first, I thot I saw AMSB.. Then, I thot I saw ASH..But.. It wasn't really them...
I guess I miss them too much lah siol.. Btw, ASH finally sort-of talked to me on one of thew days.. Iforgot when.. But he talked to me.. Mwahahaha...
You know, in a very weird way.. I think... I think that PukiDonkey sort-of cares for me... I don't know what to think.. I really, really love this 2nd guy, who I will reveal in the near future.. But my heart still loves PukiDonkey... I really wanna cry right now...
It's hard for me to make up my mind... So who should I choose? The guy who only talks to me outside school, or the guy who's been searching for me for almost 2 yrs?
My mind is in a lot of pain right now and so is my heart and body... Haiz... Why does this keep happening to me???
Okay people... Picture this... You broke up with a guy ast year due to some stupid complications or watever... Then this yr, you decided to move on and found another guy who u really, really like but don't realy love... But then the guy frm last year re-appears...
So who the Hell do u choose???? Nid help!! The guy frm last yr still loves u and the guy this yr just sees you as a fren.. But you cn feel his care nad concern... Who do u chose? Help my fren out pls... She's driving me crazy with these qns...
I seriously hate going to school now... It sux big time...
To the most immature and completely retarded person in this fooking world... aka the spammers by the name of; I LOVE SPAM & PUKIMAK.. STOP WITH THE FOOKING SPAMS LAH SIALAN JUBOS!! DUN LET ME FIND OUT WHERE YOU FOOKING LIVE AND BEAT THE FOOKING CRAP OUT OF YOU AND MAKE YOU EAT UR OWN CRAP!!!
You guys should get a job and an education or something... Seriously... Stop bugging my blog... Blog aku, hak aku, paham ? My blog is forever my property aitez? Get that thru ur head lah... Pikeh pkai kepaler otak korg dulu!! Aku bleh dpt info....
I feel very stupid retarded right now. I wish time would turn back and I could undo all my mistakes before I actually did them all. Though I spend most of my time in school with Janette Teo Min Yi, people seem to look at me semacam. I sort of feel scared to go school liao. I dun wanna kene rembat by any minah or mat rep wannabes.. Pls spare my life... Like watever lah.. I listened to JiaSuperStar.. I shud just ignore those kind of people.. Not including my adep angkat.. Coz I will never abandon them.. No matter waht happens... I love them loadz lah siol.. But they are currently ignoring me, which makes my life damn Hell-ish at the moment. Oh yeah! On the way home, saw ASH, Fika, Faz and sumone else lepak-ing at ASH void deck.. Hahaz... I still cannot angkat that he has hair! So used to seeing him hairless everywhere... DOTZ...
I fucking hate school now! I can't trust anybody xcept for my DarlinK, Janette Teo Min Yi. She can keep my secrets, WON'T EVER BEAT ME UP and has been my friend for the ast 3 yrs treasure her loads. Even my mum likes her. She is trustable I guess. I hate school coz people damn me and hate me. So wad? I can hate them back. Btw, if I ever hurt anybdy in school, I wanna apologise, okay?
Today... I think I died once again... I lost 3 of my very, very good frenz... I wish sumone could explain to me what I did wrong... I have died for the third time in my life... I can't believe that I can still survive this.... If I ever die one more time, I will die for real...
I can't take losing anymore frenz.. Seriously, I'd rather have sumone slap my face than having to lose the people who actually look out and care for me... I feel very suicidal rite now.. I was VERY happy.. Then, after school, they started talking and saying that I told sumone one of their secrets to this grp of people that they dun really like...
I was incredibly heart broken... So I sat down at sum corner sumwhere... Her words kept flying around in my head...
'Kalaw kau nmpk ktorg kat skolah, jgn pandang muke ktorg. Kau nk tawu tk aku blang mak aku psl kau. Dier kater aku kene jager kawan mcm kaw. Aku skg mau sound kau pon aku tkd hati sei nk buat... Kaw kater skg kaw tgh sensitive mode, ktorg tk kacaw kaw sgt. Abeh pastu kau buat aper? Kau gi buat prangai sundal.. Dah lah.. La=ebih baek ktorg jgn layan fier lagy...'
Her final words to me that basically hit me like a tousand punches in the guts, kicks in the head and bullets in the heart... I kept crying on the way to the lrt station... When reaching the traffic light, I turned back.... I really wanted to ask them what in the Hell I had done wrong, but in the end, I ended up crying again... I walked again, looked up at THAT house and saw ADW & ASH... ASH was staring at me, ADW bending down... WTH?! A weird pic appeared in my head. It made me feel a bit better... Hahax... I will miss these three gerlz.. Hope they will forgive me... Seriously, I ahve not met any other people nicer than them...
Resting In Piece(s), RiniTheKill@ aka Lydia
I love them loadz.. Once again I ask myself, WTH did I do wrong?
To all the people who hav nothing better to do... Please... Do something else other than spam can? Ir's people like you wjo make life difficult for everyone else...
I really think I shud give up on him right now. But I don't think I can. He's too precious to me... I think other girls know how I feel.. It's hard to let go of someone you love... Though, it's hard to know whether you love the person or whether it's just puppy love. I had LOTZ of experience...
1. They always say that they love you. When they found someone else, they dump you like you're trash. 2. They make stupid conditions if you wanna be in a relationship with him... 3.They will tell you lies to make you continue loving them.. 4. They will make you feel guilty if you argue with them.. 5. If you break up with them, they'll gloat and lie to other people. They will tell the others that they have done it with you..
Sometimes, it's hard for us girls to trust guys,... Coz they seem to be un-trust-able no matter what... Well, some of them anyway.. Btw, if u didn't notice, most bad boys are R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D.... They only act smart to impress girls who have tha body AND the brains.. I fell for that stupid trick like how many times.. But I did them all on purpose... Coz, in lyfe... I have learnt NEVER, EVER to get MAD... But... To always get even! I'm still planning what to do to HIM... I'm seriously running out of ideas... I thot of revealing his secrets..But most of them are too personal to reveal... Even though I ahve revealed some of them to some of my most trusted friends.... I also thot of just pulling him aside, wanting to 'speak' to him privately and then just beat the crap out of him... But that wouldn't werk either. Coz he's too chicken to talk to me in private... Especially after I gave him the letter and at last, this FOOKER didn't even read it! He actually gave it to that AMSB! Ugh... Wasted 3 hours of my freaking life sial! Then there's always just making his life miserable...
Okay.. I admit it ... I dun have the guts to hurt him... Coz I still LIKE him I guess... Ugh... How could he be so heartless? I dun understand my own feelings towards him... It's been a raging love-hate war in my head and heart.. My heart loves him but my head says that he's not worth it... People always say listen to your heart... So should I love him or not? Help me out here guys?
If you have any advice, put them in my tagboard, aitez? Thanx...
Anyways... It's been a long and boring day... All I did was chat with Liana, Noora, SyaSyah, Iraa, Jia and many other people on msn. Changed my blogskin. Viewed my facebook, twitter, friendster and tagged account. I watched Indra's video on youtube. Watched nigahiga's new vid... I kept thinking about the RETARDED Donkey... And I think I'll go listen to my new CD. 987 RSVP... You know the one with the card... Which I can't use now, maybe three years later....
My fren did the funniest thing just now.. One of the HQ members was online on my fren's msn acc... So i asked her to intro herself... But in the end she said, "Aku orang.." I was like, 'WTF?' So, at last, she said, 'Kau nk tawu sgt, namer aku Adila, okae?' But, she only said this after he offline, so I laughed like siao...
Then, I logged on to my Tagged acc... Had a pic comment on this painting I made.... It said, "Syal... *****, i manerh?" Btw, the stars aren't bad words.. It's a person's name.... I dun wanna reveal who... Currently watching a vid, sum guy singing... Apit is such a gewd singer... Wish I could meet him in person...
ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMIER.ILOVEAMEIR. ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMEIR.ILOVEAMEIR. IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR. IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR.IHATEAMEIR. I can't make up my mind... I love him loadz but... I hate him for breaking my heart... Okay.... I know I'm going completely out of my mind... But I think dying now is not an option... I'd rather die like in maybe 5 yrs time... Coz I guess what they say is true... Dying won't solve my problems but is probably my one way ticket to Hell... I guess if he doesn't like me then fine... I give up...
Oh, and btw, to whoever is reading, I know what you're thinking... Why am I always talking about this stupid, retarded guy who may or may not know that my mind is upside-down, inside-out trying to erase ALL the FUCKING memories about him? I wish I could have some other person to concentrate my heart on.. But I knOW it's not that important what I feel about who...
I think, even if I die, I wouldn't be missed by people coz of all the stupid things I did in my 14++ yrs of life... I know I hve sinned, but I don't think I need people t o remind me about it, okay? So pls, just let me live normally and stop talking behind my back, or run away if I sit down near by you.... Though it really makes me just wanna kill that person on the spot, it kind of hurts me on the inside...
Why can't I experience real love? Why can't guys be fatihful to their girlz? These qns remind me of my own qns: Why am I so crazy about a guy , who has hurt me, left me and many other girls heart broken, and who doesn't care about our feelings at all and only cares whether he gets what HE wants and doesn't care about what other people want coz he's just a normal [okay not normal, but to me and some of my adeq angz, he's a retarded donkey, LoLz~] human being? Okay.. I know what you're thinking again... Why the Heck did I just a damn long qns that neither me nor other people can ever answer? I don't really know... I just wanted to ask it coz I'm curious about why SOME guys are COMPLETE ASSHOLES to the girls who love them... Why? Why? Why? All my qns seem to have 'Why' in them, did you guys ever notice that?
To tell you the truth, I don't really know... Coz I'm only 14++... I don't know everything yet... So I can't really read his mind.. And I'm still having writers block on my story... I can't think of anything... All I think of are circles, segments, diameters and angles... It' s all coz of my new Maths teacher, Mr Tay... He's the coolest and best Maths teacher I ever got...
I'M CRRRRAZYIN LOVE BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I KEEP TELLING PEOPLE I HATE THAT DONKEY... Hardi-har-har... I wonder if guys actually feel the same way as us? Coz, some guys are actually good guys but us girls, we, me included seem to always go for the bad boys, ya know what I'm saying? And some guys, seem to always go for the sluts and hookers kind of girls, which is why good dirls always go bad...
Ahhh... The mystery of life and all the other complicated crap... I just don't get it... I seriously don't.. Like how guys don't know it when girls like them, even though rumours are flying everywhere... Especially since I seemed to have told my AdeqAngkats a lot of times that I like him.... I wish... I wish I didn't know him... But, I guess, if I didn't, then I woukd've just been a boring girl... With no life... Hahax~ But... No matter what, I'll always have a life...
Thanx to the three people I miss and love a lot more than I miss and love that Donkey... My three heroes who Ilook up to a lot... My cuzzies from CCK Ave 4... AND my aunt... I miss them loadz... And whenever I think of them, all the pain in my heart, and all those flahbacks stop for a while... Haiz... It's like Heaven whenever I remember all the fun times we had... During my birthday, though all but one of teh people I invited NEVER turned up, my cuzzn, Hakito, actually had his friends over... And I had lotz of fun with them... Throwing ballons at each other... I wish I could replay that one and only moment.... Then I wouldn't be so miserable nOw...
But since I can't even visit them, I guess 25% of my attention is on HQ, 25% is on my AdeqAngzz, 10% on my studies and the rest on my blood relations.... I deserve it.... But I don't think my feelings deserve played with.... I admit... I can;'t ever get him out of my FUCKING mind... It hurts.. I wish my mother would talk to me most of the time... Instead of me having to tell HER everything.... Haiz... I just wanna cry for a while... I'll write more later or some other days, aitez?
With Love, Lydia Karini...
I really need a lot of support from my friends and cuzzinz now... So please don't push me away...
AMEIR RIDHWAN BIN JURAIMI! PLZ COME AND COLLECT UR MEMORIES FROM MY HEAD RITE NOW!!!!!! I'M VERY IRRITATED WITH YOU RITE NOW AND I DUN REALLY WANT TO HAVE ANY GOOD MEMORIES ORF YOU IN MY HEAD NOW!!! ARGH!! BLOODY ASSHOLE!!!!
In school today, I saw the WHOLE HQ together during their recess... Haha.. First time siot... Then, during CHEMISTRY, Kieran said he saw Mrs Wing outside... I turn my head and saw a woman who looks like her... After lower sec recess over, Incaught a glimpse of SyaSyah's sweater.. I turned my head and saw that her whole class was having HomEc... Saw the whole HQ again...
When CHEMISTRY ended, I went out and followed Kieran... Once outside, I saw ASH... Mdm Yati was talking to him and sum other guys... I heck care him... So i had recess...Had English class... After that, go home, now playing com till dunoe what time but now I'm just damn bored.
Oh yeah, outside school, saw ParaSite and Syortie went 7-11 and bought food I think.. They eat at the table tennis place, coz the table outside there was Izzat, Hafiz, Me, Jeremiah, Ctee and Sarah....
Haha.... I sot-sot liao! Now, I want go roller-blading lah siol!! Maybe tomorrow can go... Then on Sunday watching Transformers 2 with my beloved Daddy.... I love him loadz and love spending time with him..He's the best dad ever...
Well, I gotte go now... Going to go to my room and emo for a while... Hahaz...
In a way I hate him!!!! But my heart says to love him! Oh somebody juz... Forget it... I know he was lying in the first place coz he's such a [double-you, eh, and, kay, ee, are,]= wanker. I wish... I had nvr lepak-ed with him, talked to him, got to know him... I wish I cud juz forget him, but my heart win't allow it... I FUCKING juz wanna die oready lah kanena!! Kill me can or not?
To A.D.D: WHY THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGZZ? STOP STARING AT ME IN SCHOOL, STOP TALKING TO ME IN PRIVATE AND... Juz stop being so cute can? Plz lah sial! Aku tkleh tahan lagy uh chibai! If you dunoe who you are, then know this: AmeirDevilDonkey... Coz YOU are the Devil that has been torturing my heart and mind 24/7... Aitez??
Kalaw kaw maseh tk tahu, makne nyer, kaw tu completely tkd otak dokk... Sial uh... Aku dah penat... Aku dah mls nk layan kaw... Tapi... Apabila ku ternampakmu, hatiku cair... Haha.... You can laugh if you want, coz your heart is not the one that hurts having flashbacks everyday.. Even in my dreams, i see him sia... He's a playa, a cute freak, and... a guy who used to ask me down to lepak...
I wish that I could find somebody else to love, and care for... instead of wanting to beat the fooking crap out of him right now or maybe tomorrow i can ambush him when he's on the way to school... Break his legs, his arms, his fingers and just leave him by the roadside... Mwahahahahax!!! Just kidding.. or was I?
Argh! See what happens uh... I'm too tired to plan anything evil now... Just wanna continue my story... Abt the the girl who kena kidnap by 7 of her friends who she had a major quarrel with...
And I'm gonna start a new story about a girl who get revenge every single one of the guys who has ever made her broken-hearted... And then the girl will rule a triad and makes the guys her slaves... Am I good or what siol?
But mostly right, I'm trying to be nice to THE BASTARD, eh salah, I mean the person who recently broke my heart.. LoLz~ Whatever lah... As my cuzzin Jia once said, there are other guys who are better out there...
And... I agree.. There are guys out there who treat me better than THE BASTARD... Eh salah lagy... I mean THE PERSON who broke my heart.. Burn in Hell DONKEY!!!!
Haiz... On to the more important things... AYG ROCKED YESTERDAY LAH SIOL!!! But... before I even went to the Indoor Stadium, I was skating at Lam Soon... Saw my scandal Sarah wif my fren Naaziya... Then, I remembered that I left my bags at the table outside 7-11... Darron nvr help me take sia... SO I was skating there...
When I saw 4 of the HQ people... Alien, Donkey, Syortie and ASH were there.. I did an unsuccessful turn... Which made me land on the side of my knee.. Which already hurt like Hell sia... The guys just stared...
Then Naaziya's frenz, Tse Ring and Cynthia, came along... I asked them to help me take my bags coz My bags rite.. Were directly beside that Asshole Donkey... They got my bags then I quickly zoom to LamSoom, where BRYAN'S crew were blading... I put my bag somewhere and skated to 7-11 to buy drink...
I ignored the HQ... I was turning to 7-11 oready.. Then this guy frm KSS go bang into me sia... I could hear Syortie laughing.. kns... But whatever...
Then, I went to school first BRYAN got Darron to de-brief the others or watever...
Then, 2day after school, I could see the same ppl plus Parasite, outside ASH's hse... Syortie got nothing better to do... He go shout, "Lydia dunoe how to roller blade!"
KANASAI! My blood go upstairs sia... So I saw my AdeqAngzz... I juz counted to 10 seconds and I was fine...
Well, I gtg now... Blog more next time...
Signing off to plan my ambush against DONKEY, DJ Killer Kay!!!
Okay, I think I really hurt my ass... Coz of the training for the AYG Opening Ceremony.. I fell on it at least 10 times. 5, when I tried to jump... 3, coz I tried to break but the person behind didn't see me and push me. 2, coz... Well, I forgot why...
Well, it was fun... That's all that matters okay? After the whole session, me and my bro, Bryan, did sum xtra training..... I fell I dunoe how many times during that session....
It hurts loadz, and now, my whole body aches... xcept for my head... coz i didn't do anything to hurt it...
Bck to other things... I still miss that DONKEY AND THE GANG... and i MISS my one and only CCK FAM... And I miss a bunch of other ppl too...
I dunoe why, but, wen the holidys start, I actually went out a lot... 2nd week, didn't really go out. But 1st, 3rd and this whole week, I'vee been so bz with things such as The Band Fest, AYG Opening Ceremony.. And when I'm at home, I keep creating playlist and pic slideshow for my new MP3 player... And I'm having a freaking writers' block with my story... No new ideas are appearing in my head... Haiz.. I guess. if you start writign at a young age, it's harder.. HaHa~!
I miss lepak-ing at the void deck opposite school uh... But, I guess noe that SOME ppl are sending out spies to keep an eye on me, I don't seem to have any freedom.... Sometimes, when I'm daring enough, I just Heck care them and do whatever I wwant to.. And walk with whoever I want to... I might seem like a gewd girl no... But i'm still the same.... HERAN-TK-HERAN UH SIOLZ~~!!!! Aku tk ade goyang!!!! My name is Lydia Karini... Not Lydia the Sissy!! Get THAT through your head, aitez???????????
Mwahahahahahahaha~~~~!!!!!!!!! Take that LOSERZZZZZ!!!
Peace out! DJ Killer Kay!!!! Muakzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!
OMFG! When the Hell are holidays gonna end lah siol???? I'm like half-dead already!! And I miss that stupid PePeDomkey loadz!! And all my fwenz! I' m literally alive coz I listen to Techno everyday!!! And I dance my ass off lah seiz!!
Wish I had my frenz to join me! But too bad they have their own planzz... I mizz my adeq angzz.... And I think I miss my teachers... I think only uh.. But I think I still miss PePeDonkey the most... LoLz~
But what to the ever. I got other stuff to do anywayz..... LoLz~ Like my story about a girl being kidnapped and the kidnappers' are in a way related to her.. If you guys wanna read it, leave your email add in my tagboard and I' ll send it to ya!
Well, I gotta go now! My Japanese sis wanna use com! See you guys whenever! Maukz!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!! I can't believe what the Hell happened yesterday!!!! Haha!! I was on the way home from school, when suddenly I wanted to buy Bubble Tea.. So I was lining up to buy lah when suddenly, I turned my head and saw ADW!! I was so shocked and I thot that my heart wud burst open from my chest... I turned the opposite side so that he won't see my face. But I think he noticed my bag. He asked me,' Kaw nk gi ane?' [Where u going?] I answered,' Aku nk beli air.' [I want buy drink.] H e said okae and asked me to hurry up coz he had something important to tell me. I was kinda wishing he would say that. So I did hury up. As I was walking beside him he said, 'Eh, kaw tawu tk yg Aliff gi kater yg aku ngn dier stead ngn kaw time tu.' I was like, 'WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WANKER ALIFF THINKING!!' I think I stopped in my tracks coz ADW saw me stop and I also think my mouth was slightly open. I could feel the blood rush to my fists and my heads as I thot of what I would do to Aliff if he were there. I quickly walk up beside him. I was trying as hard as I could to breathe normally. And I succeeded. We walked quite a distance. I never notice. Haha. SO when I got home, I straight away went inside my room and on my lappy. I typed it out in my diary. I typed every single word that I'm typing here. Then, I saw a folded up note. I saw that it was meant for ADW. I opened it and realised that I was the one who wrote it. I was so surprised it was still here.I realised that the letter was actually a confession that I WANTED to give to him, but I think I chickened out the last minute. I added more things to the letter and decided that I was going to give the letter to him on Monday no matter what. Coz I don't think I can keep these feelings in me any morE... This was what was written in the letter.:
03/02/09 ADW, Kaw pernah terfikir tk aper reason yang aku slalu dgr ckp kaw? Hmm... First, aku nk bilang kaw ni. Apape yg kaw rase lepaz kaw bace surat ni, aku akan accept. But, aku harap kaw tk akan marah kat aku. Reason dier senang je. Hope you can understand. Aku slalu dgr ckp kaw sbab.... Aku actually dah lamer suke kat kaw. Sejak first time ktorg lepak, 09/01/09, aku tak tawu knape aku tibe-tibe nk kene tgk muke kaw tiap-tiap hari. Aku rase by now kaw tgh rase uncomfortable kan? I hope this letter does not make a difference in our friendship. Kaw nk tawu tk? Biler aku dgr kaw suke Noora lah, kaw suke Ira lah, aku akan jealous giler babi siot. Then biler aku dpt tawu yg kaw stead ngn Khadijah, lagy terok. AKu megamok gyler. Tapy depan kaw, aku maintain je. Kat rumah, layen ceriter lah. Aku akan 24/7 bad mood. Malam-malam, seblom aku tido, aku akan teringat time-time yg gerek biler ktorg lepak. Lepaz tu aku tido. Haha. Aku t kfaham knape aku tersuke sgt kat kaw. Ape kaw nak buat lepaz kaw bace ni, is all ur own choice tapy, aku harap ktorg akan tetap jady kwn no matter. Hope you can understand what I'm trying to say in this letter. Lydia aka RiniTheKill@
______________________________________________________________ 22/05/09 ADW, Aku baru je terjumpe surat ni. Aku memang dah lamer nk kasi kaw tapy sejak aku kene suspended, aku boleh rase yang kaw tk nk kwn ngn aku lagy. Aku tk faham ape kaw nak aku buat. Hari tu kaw kater 'Jgn interfere ngn aku nyer life.' Juz answer this qns for me: Do you hate me or do you still wanna be friends? You are juz confusing me everytime. Give me a straight answer, please. Lydia
That's all I wrote in the letter. I am confident that I'm going to give him this letter. If not, then I'm really going to go crazy okae?
Okae........... I totally mengamok in school todae siot......... I already happy2 ready to go camping, skali..... Teacher say I cannot go! Nabeyh! I bring my freaking heavy bag to school, then u tell me I cannot go.... Waste money sia... Haiz!!!!! I am freaking angry with the teachers right now!!!! Luckily nothing bad came out of my mouth in school.... If not, confirm I kena from Tiger lah siol....
But watever lah ehk... Skolah ni ingt aku ader satu camp je kape? Aku dok kat uma 'shake leg' pon bagos jugak lah siol! Ak utkd maser nk layan org2 kat skolah tu.... Hmph! Continuing with my life... Juz now I reached home, straight away go bathe... Then go library... On the way dere, I saw ADW, HSC, ASH & HGB!!! But that kana-sai ACD kept laughing. I could feel it as he was covering his face wit his exam paper.. I still like him though... Then when I reached the library, i spent like 30 min looking for books... When I was about to borrow the books, the screen said that I had some fine sto pay... I was damn dissapponited.... Coz the freaking neew ez-link, which is said to be able to pay for everything, doesn-t werk there.... Bloody *TOOT*!!!!!!! Dah lah aku tk leh gi camp.... Tk leh pinjam buku aku lagy mengamok siot! So i WTF-ed && went out of there... Went to the blues to buy the ear thingy... I went McD and bought fries, lemon tea && Milo McFlurry.... I was still angry but now I'm fine... Haiz....
Was.... ToTally... AweSome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I partay-ed like a SiaoZhaBor on drugs... Or maybe not... So many people came sia... Then on SUnday, which was yesterday, we went to Sentosa.. Played I Spy, Twiter and then after that we went ot Faber Point. Where people go to ehem ehem... LolS... But me, my bro and his frenz went to Faber Point to slack.. So damn syiok sia... I spent 2 days with my bro... Haha... There's this one guy. I care for him as a fren but, all he wants is to use me.. I guess it's time to let go ... But, it's impossible for me to do that. The guy I'm talking about? ACD... Serious talking uh... I know deep down, he's a good guy I dun really understand WTH is going on in his head, but in my flashbacks, I will always see him... Haiz.... Memories are so hard to let go... Why did I even do it in the first place??!!?!?!?!?! Argh... Now I'm damn binget with this cute guy... He smiles once in a while.... But mostly he juz stares and stares.... Bloody Hell... I dun noe whether he hates me or still wants to be my fren... Haiz... I think he juz hates me... Well, while on the way to school, I saw him and the always Adorable ASH! I was surprised but then I forgot that I woke up late.. Hahax... But then, the guy in the pic saw me.. So i had to suppress my urge to smile... Which was very susah dokk... I miss him loads.. ThOugh we're from the same school, I miss talking to him, Hanging Out with him, And other stuff too... I was like his Ciggie Dealer too.... I FUCKING MISS AMEIR RIDHWAN BIN JURAIMI!!!!!! AND I ALSO another guy........ I WON'T WRITE THIS DOWN NOW... Maybe sum other time... teehee!
The day I waited so long for finally arrived: THE LAST EXAM!!! Can finally relax lah sey! But u wanna noe how I celebrate this day?? I cleaned up the house with my bro for his b'dae party 2m0r0... I noe it's not interesting but hey, it's my bro... And he turned 27 on Monday, but he's having his partay 2m0r0 coz most of his frenzz not werking... LoLz~
After school and after the band meeting, I was on the way to walking out but then saw HQ [-AKP] walking out also. Panic for a while then I thot 'Ah! Heck care them lah! They dun scare me!' But u wanna noe how I walk? I walk so super damn fast but I still can hear them say things like 'Virus lah' n other things... Kae LoLZ~
ASH & ACD was laughing n I was trying not to tur naround and beat the crap out of them... Serious talking sia... Can't they grow up and behave like umm... People who grow up? [LoL. I forgot wad word i wanted to type...] AMSB kept saying things like 'Oh my God' . Seriously, he sounded GAY!!! LoLz~
I changed HazriPendekQechykk to HazriSyortieCutezz... Dun ask me why... I forgot the reason liao.... But it's supposed to be a gewd reason... Hmmzz... I still get flashback abt them!!! But I dun mind, coz the flashbacks help me relax.. LoLz~ I seem to smile whenever I get the flashbackz.. Hmmz... Still pissed off with that AMSB... I hope his eyes will get steamier or watever.. LoLz~~~ Dat'z all for todae... See yaz next time.... Byezzz...
Yesterday I posted up people who I like in school.. Plus sum of the people who juz wanna beat the crap out of me....
Todae i wanna tell u who are my AdeqAngz aka MyYoungerGodSis':
1) Aisyah aka SyaSyah Eva 2) Noora aka NooraGaga [to me] 3) Syahirah aka Ira 4) Atiqah aka Ika 5) Syafika aka Fiikaa 6) Fazira aka Faz
Also I got a message for ADW... Why the Hell do u alwaes look so cute and innocent????!!!! Same goes to ASH.... I mean seriously guys... Turn down the bloody cute-ness will yaz??? LoLz~
And my adeq angz wonder why i used to like ACD... Haiz... There'z ur reason galzz.... Now u noe.. LoLz~
Btw, I'm not a sicko-nehneh or wadever the shit it's spelled... I juz like to see them smile. Especially ACD... Sumtimes ASH smiles kinda weird.. Seriously he freakz me out... From far his head lookz like an egg.. No offence bro... If u hate ur hair so much that u have to cut it everytime it's long, why dun u juz burn it? JkJk... U must think I'm a retard for asking sumone to burn hair rite? LoLz~
I really wish I can turn back time and not do wad I did. Then WE wouldn't have to go thru Hell... Especially me.. With all these check ups... AnyHoo... I liked ADW since the first time we lepak-ed [hang out] together... I sumtimez wanna bang my freaking head against the wall whenever I see him in school now.
In the morning, saw him.. Was talking to AKP, suddenly i glanced and saw him so i told AKP I would talk to him later. When the green man appeared, I walked as fast as I can. But ACD sumhow managed to reach me by the time I reached the second traffic light. He asked me whether I got tell abgHakito abt our case. Then I told him that abgHakito went in hostel... He said okae then walked off to ASH's house. I could bareky walk.. Why does he say he hate me but ends up talking to me anyway. I dun get it seriously.. But watever... I think he cares either.. LoLz~
That's all i gotta sat for now... See yaz tomoro aitez??
The people in school who I looooveeeee a lot......
My Darlinx: 1. Tan Lynn/ Chua Kai Lin/ Ang Wan Jun 2. Chew Jia Wen 3. CtEe 4. Sarah Omar 5. Naaziya 6. Asri & Amirul [1C] 7. Nur Amalia 8. Nurul Fitria 9. Putri Nurul Almahirah 10. Ong Tain Lin 11. Azraw & Haqim
The people who used to be friends with me but now all they ever do is stare [stare all u wan, aku tak takot lah siol!] :
I totally dun want them to hear me say their name, so i came up with code words to replace them... LoLz~~ Hope they dun read it.... No wait... I dun freaking care whether they see this or not! I hope they see this!!! I want them to noe they can't mess with me juz becoz they are 7 boyzz... Aku tk takot lah siol!!
My life is pretty much the same as last week... But it got a bit better. I sumhow managed to be last emo last week.... I got a bit confused coz farah said abgHakito went to prison for arm robbery... Like wat to the fuck sia! But i clarified it with jia and She says it's fake.... Thank God! But i got PUNKED ! Haiz...
I still wanna go her hse.. Didn't get to go last weEk... Sorie i paItaw-ed CuzzIe... Lol... But i'm gonna go there maybe next weekk.. Aft the StooPeeed MYEs... Hahx! Take that examz! I hope u're happy u finally made me study [NOT!] I stopped crying in my sleep.. But why izit that i still keep having FLASHBACK of the timez I had with HQ. If u wanna noe who HQ are, find out l8r... I mIzz them like siao sia!!!!! If this StoooPeed incident didn't fucking happen, it would be like... Well, like it used to be in the past.. LoL...
AnyHoo....
I'm single and totally not sure whether i'm available. Okae maybe I am... But i don't care. Nobody cares anyway... LoL... But look on the bright side... I dun have to worry abt any guy for the time being. Which gives me more time for my friends in Hell.... [AkA SchOOl....] And my fam...
Yesterday was my bro's b'dae but he's having the party during the weekends... THis sunday is Aliff's b'dae. Next week is MinYi and Fahmi's b'dae... LoLz... So many b'daes this month...
Last week, I forgot wad happened. i dunoe why i keep forgetting things that happen recently but can remember all the old memories... I really wanna forget them.. Seriously, i dun wanna live in the past anymore.....
Okae so continuing from yesterday. I can't control all these feelings in me. I got so many I want to let out but all I ended up doing is cry.. Haiz... I juz dun get why I'm alive.. Seriously, I dun think a single person cares abt me... Nobody really understandz me or my past... But they want to judge me first before getting to noe me.. I dun even fully understand myself, so wat gives them the right to judge me anyway? It's my life, s o I can do watever I want with it.
I might act damn siao & hyper in sch. But at home, it's a totally different story. Especially at night. Tears come out non-stop when I'm sleeping. I hate going to sleep. All thew bad memories come back to haunt me. And all the bad dreamz come to terrorize me. But in sch, i will be cheerful & crazy no matter wad. I dun get it u noe.. It's like leading a double life. Hyper by day, emo by night.. I wish sum one cud help me sort out my problemz. I wish dat the one special guy cud help me out. But till that happens, it's gonna be thew same for me everyday. I want ppl to talk to me in sch, not juz make fun of me or just come up to me to ask for cigarette. I'm not the only smoker in school for crying out loud!!! I'm not the only ciggie trafficker in school!!! Get that into ur thick skulls plz!!!!
See. Told ya I cudn't control my emotionz. One moment I'm calm, the next, i start screaming!!! Lolzzz!!!! Now, do u think there's any drug for me that can actually help? Seriously, laughing and crying everyday is making me go 'cuckoo' man....
Okae... I admit... My only weakness is feeling lonely. I dun like it if nobody talks to me. I will feel like crying. I will think of negative stuff. I will want to scream!! So, pls, dun use it against me. I will juz have an emotional breakdown if u do.
And i will be an emo. I will never go out ever for a few dayzz.. I might juz stay at home and cry. Cud be for dayz, weekz... I will juz stay at home and cry my eyes out. Like rite now. I dunoe why, but these few dayz, I keep waking up in the middle of the night with tearz in my eyes. I keep dreamign of everybody on this planet juz hating me inside out. I have been crying in my sleep for the past 2 weekz.
So pls, dun hate me. Coz my fren sayz that it's hard to hate ppl. Coz when u wake up in the morning, u will have to remember the list of ppl u hate. So it's gonna be less stressful if u juz dun hate anyone at all.
U can tease me if u want, but dun hate me uh. Seriously, i will juz wanna kill u when u're not lookin, or juz beat the crap out of u when u're distacted by sumting. Or I cud juz punch u in the face for no reason at all. LOL! I wud think 1 and a half times befroe punching anyone. But wat the heck? I love violence, so thinking won't really stop me!
I'm so bored!!!! Seriously, my cuzzie updated my blog but almost nobody ever reads it!! frustrated siol!!! nobody spam me anymore!! not funn!!! Argh!!
But watever aitez? I'm gonna quote from FOB: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! AS LONG AS IT'S ABOUT ME! THE REST OF US CAN FIND HAPPINESS IN MIIIIIIIIIISERY!' Dat'z rite! I FIND MY FREAKING HAPPINESS IN MY OWN MISERY!! SO CALL ME A PSYCHO, BUT DAT'S HOW I AM SO DUN U EVER DARE TO JUDGE ME, okae?
Now, i'm sick and tired of a certain KIERAN PEH GUI HUI! He's always making fun me!! He's always threatening to 'expose' my secret! Like watever dude! Only pussies threaten people! Get it into ur head pls!!! Btw, u're a freaking asshole!! Same as the DonKey!!! And that AlienMaterSteamBijik!!!
My life already sux.. It sux even more if people do not understand me or noe me but continue to judge me by what i did! Eh come on lah people! Wake up and observe me very carefully! I'm a totally different person! [But I'm still Hyper no matter what, aitez??]
But hey, watever problemz u people hav with me, WHY DON'T YOU JUZ SCREAM IT IN MY FACE?? COME ON, U GOT NO BALLZ OR NO PUSSIES OR WAD SIA?? I DUN MIND U SCREAMING INTO MY FACE!!! If u got a bloody problem, scream it!! It actually helpz!!! Try it!! Scream!!!!
MYE started yesterday!! So stressed... I got many new ppl to chat with coz of tagged!!! LoLZ! I noe i'm lame.. I feel sorie for my dearest cuzzie JiaSuperStar... Haizz,... A lot of problemz for her... I wish i can juz go there and hug her!!! I miss my CCK Fam lah siol!!!!
I wanna go there!! But my parents dun allow!! Sian eh!!! I wanna see my cuzzies and all their frenzzz.... And mummy n adeq2!!!
Hmm... Maybe after exam lah...
I wish i can juz hav more frenz in school who actually talk to me instead of being mute and talking behind my back all the time!!!! My life sux to the core man!!!!
Okae. the update.. My cuzzie Jia is upset with AbgHakito's gf Farah. I dunnoe wad happened coz serious talking sia, i'm still blur. But... KAZIEMAH IS BACK!!! I miss her lyk siao lah siot!!!! I can't wait to see her!!!!
Also, i dun really have anything to say accept... There's a war going on btwn My cuzzie and FafA.. I luv them both but seriously, i'm with Jia on this one. AbgHakito will make his own choice, on who to choose. Sowie Fafa.. And I also agree with Jia dat u shudn't be smoking near the adek-adek. I dun wan them to kena anything, so i also dun sm0ke near them.....
And nothing interesting happened....... Sad sia!!!
The main things in my life that i noe... I hate it!!!! I hate everything!!!!!! And i hate it when people control me!!!!! Especially if they think that they are so important. i.e Amalina!! Let me give u sum advice: Stay out of other ppl's problems and u won't get beatern up lah pandai!!! U oready kene rembat 4 times n u still haven't learn ur lesson!!!
U only say ur budak Alamak back u up.. But now i think Fahmi is rite.. I think u bobual world uh babe.. And seriously... I'm sick n tired of u telling me how u wanna rembat these ppl who never even offend u in ur life, but u had to offend them... Aku tk akan side ngn kaw lagy uh! aku dah binget, kaw buat aku lagy binget! Serious talking, stop tyalking big!! Learn ur lesson!! before u even wanna help sumone, solve ur own problem first before u endup in the hospital!!! That's my advice to you!!!
Okae..... My life sux, I admit it. People hate me, i noe dat. i'm juz so freaking frustrated with all the hypocrites of the world. U can criticise me all u want but one day, i'm gonna get my revenge on u idiots.. juz wait and see..
okae.. Now on to impotant stuff. Like who recently DIED IN MY LIFE.... AMEIR RIDHWAN BIN JURAIMI [ARBJ] & his parner in crime [literally] AHMAD ADI BIN SAPARI [AABS] .... Wat the Hell did i ever do to u guys until u have to sounfd me like dat??! i forgot why i lepak with u in the first place.. Hope u gayzz burn in Hell... I nvr did anything to u but u had to sound me like dat. What??!! Ur cock haven't straight or what sia? I think i agree with Sarah. She shud get her kitty out to bite ur dickz... Wanna noe what the worst thinbg is? I'm in the same CCA as one of the above dead guy... It's gonna be a torture to go band... But i'll survive.. I dun care wat ppl say abt me anymore... To the assholes and JackAsses in my life, FUCK OFF AND DIE LAH SIAL!!!
To Ruben, if u wanna beat me up, why dun u do it urself instead of asking Gervan.. What?! U got no balls izit? Why dun u ask Ameir, Adi n all the other 2B malay boys to help u? i won't be a paotokia like Ameir! I dare u to beat me up after sch... If u dun, then i declare u got no balls!!!
Today was so boring sia. Had to stay at home and do school stuff. But at least I got to use MSN. Chatted with Rafidah, Indra and Min Yi. After completing all the assignments I had to do, I went on YouTube to watch all the videos by NigaHiga. OMG! I kept laughing and laughing until I went out or breath. Also went to see the 2B class blog. Some idiot go and write bad stuff on their tagboard sia. Which surprised me a lot. I thot after all this was over, people would act normal again. But whatever. Sometimes, I just want to cry for many, many days without stopping. But most of the time, I can't coz I think I ran out of tears or some shit like that. People can call me whatever they want in sch. But I know that no matter what, I will always be a Kill@, aites? So tomorrow, even though it's good Friday, I'm gonna go back to sch for a Cultural Show thingy for the Indon students who came to visit my school.
Sorie for not posting for a long time. was bz with sum shit Any way, I was at the Com Lab with my adek angkat. Ameir kept calling them using Adi's phone. So annoying sia. Btw, I finally talked to Aliff tode. WooHoo! Currently feeling sad and bored. still working on my stories. Saved them on my new Thumbdrive. U wanna noe what touches me the most? Even though i have done sumthing wrong , they can still respect me. i dun really deserve them as my adek angkat. well, i am ending this post with an apology to those who were involved in my current case. SORIE & HOPE U GUYS CAN FORGIVE ME.
yo peeps.... hope u guys are having a fun new years eve party or watever... Right now... I juz wanna add another New Years Resolution... 11.NOT TO FUCK AROUND (AS IN NOT TO SCREW UP MY LIFE MORE) COZ I DUN WANT MY BRO TO PUNCH ME... and will BLOWJOB pls stop spamming me b4 I find out where u live and rembat u like dere's no tmr n u'll be hospitalised for the res tof your fucking life... ty...
ijuz came back frm swimming... hav u ever heard of a person spraining both ankle in the water?? i juz did dat... so pain sia... i am so unlucky sei... maybe sum one curse me... -.-"
haish.. anyways... still at woodlands.. going home l8r... but tmr going out.. woohoo!! meeting my ex-classmates n form teacher.. dunoe who going... excited n i dunoe wat to wear... going east coast any suggestions?? hahax... hope i dun do anythig stupid... coz i'm already in a lot of trouble rite now... n i dun wan my life to be more screwed than it is rite now.. n i really hate if suting bad happens to me now.. a lot more stress next yr... so i must be guai.. n be an angel, not devil..
Yesterday my cuzzzin Putri let my use her com coz she needed to do her tuition homework... Used it all the way till whenever.... I juz wanna use it 4 as long as i can b4 i go back teck whye... Hmm... So i logged on to alamak.com.... A lot of horny guys sia... Hehe... Had trouble not attracting them.... Chatted wif sum of them on msn...
One of them was 'ROLEPLAYING' with me... Felt very weird...
Den another guy was at first talking dirty until he found out i was frm BPGHS.... I complained to him bout most of the ppl dere... Quite a gd listener... He gave sum good advice, which i thot at first didn't make any sense but den aft dat i started to sorta understand... (Btw, Anybody noe wat 'Begin With The End In Mind' means??) My brain doesn't really werk during the holidays... I complained to hmi bout almost everything in my messed up life.... I told him bout wat happened at the Mac dat day aft exam.... Curse those bitches.. I HATE U ALL!!!!
Den i told him wat i did; bout Saiful (luv him) n the video... Can there be a nicer person??? Even my parents dun listen to me dat well... If a complete n total stranger can listen, i wonder y the Hell my parents can't see the signs of a tortured person.... *sigh* Maybe i was alresdy born with this destiny... To get in trouble n do stupid stuff all b4 my 14th birthday....
Sumtimes I dun even noe what my future will be.... Maybe I'll end up as a total loser... Maybe I won't live past 20 coz of all the ppl i accidentaly-on-purpose offended... I really wanna change... I juz dun hav the help I need to change... Long time nvr go Church wif Min Yi sia... I mean I only went a few times coz she keeps harassing me to go... I mean it's fun to go coz of all the nice ppl... N all the songs n jumping n stuff.. I nvr convert or anything... I think... But dere's the advantage of noe-ing more ppl n hav more frenz... Coz aft the vid incident, my so-called frenz started to stay away frm me... I must've been stupid to believe dat they wouldn't care... Hah!! They even had a nickname 4 me... (BJ Rocker in da house!!) But the 1B '08 students dun really care... They rarely make fun fun of me... Even if they did, i wouldn't really care...
Hey, at least dere's an advantage in doing wat i did... I got more experience!! Haha -haha- haha!! Okae i dun really mean it... I dun like to brag... (Only sumtimes aite?)
Anywaes, abt Saiful, i dun really think he even wants to see me any more coz wat i said to him was really harsh, even tho i didn't mean it .... I was an idiot okae Saiful? Dat's all i gotta say for now... More stuff next time aites?
Hey dudes n dudettes... I changed my blogskin.. But pls dun call me a desperado coz I ain't got it??
I received a comment frm a guy on Friendster.. FYI dude.. Dat video was taken 11 months ago.. U r so freaking slow... Dis is 4 u... _|_ Enjoy it..
BACK TO MY WEIRD FEELING ABT SAIFUL... I am really missing u .... I hope u get 2 read this baby... I really miss u n i still luv u... I didn't mean wad i said.. I wanted 2 reply 2 ur msgs but u already deleted ur account.. I'm sorry I was too late... I forgive u n I hope U can forgive me too... If u read dis, pls respond on my Cbox...
Back to my life... I'm not really happy... I'm miserable coz I'm trapped at home every single FUCKING day Of my FUCKED up life... I feel so FUCKED up now.... I dun really think I can live a normal life any more...(not really) I juz wanna kill myself sumtimes... I feel so alone n I'm beginning to change into sum kind of an Emo-kia sia....
Btw, to all the people I offended in the year 2008, I apologise...
My New Year's Resolution for the 2009: 1. To be an emo... 2. To meet Saiful again.. 3. Save $$$ 4. Survive The whole year.. 5. NOT TO DO ANYTHING STUPID AGAIN.. 6. If I can't meet Saiful, at least I wanna Find THE ONE.. 7. To keep my room clean... 8. Get a job during the holidays.. 9. To go my cuzzin hse in CCK at least twice a week.. 10. To get beaten up at least once...
Dudes, there's sumting wrong wif me rite now... i'm actually missing Saiful... The weird thing is i started thinking abt hym the moment it was December.. N i started to feel luv 4 him again.. i really, really luv him u noe..
his last few msg b4 we lost all contact:
Hmm. I couldnt contact your home, Is something wrong? I think of you all the time.I think this is the only way we can contact each other for now
I miss you too much
I wish i would be there with you,
And i want you to know that i will always be there with you.
It will be valentines day soon. i wish we could meet, I telah terjatuh cinta dengan you.
Im sorry for what i did you to and I just want it to stop.
I understand if you hate me right now and i understand if you wanna leave me.I understand why you would wanna do all those things to me.Ill probably not be around any longer.
But please im sorry, Forgive me.
I guess the fact that you didnt reply tells me that you either have forgotten me, or not forgiven me or just hate me. I want to make things better but it just seems to get worse.... Im sorry...
I know you hate me now.
But let me explain myself.
The reason im contacting you now was that i wasnt given a chance before this. Couldn't you forgive me for that. would you please reply. If you really dont love me anymore.. Tell me now.. and im gone from your life. I really thought you loved me.. Please dont tell me you lied to me when you said that.Im just here to tell you i cant forget you. Im not trying to run away anymore. Please reply with your answer.
Msg to Saiful if u're still reading my blog:
i nvr hated u.. i juz said dat coz i was angry.. i really regretted saying those things to u.. pls come back.. i dun really care wat amalina says anymore.. i really do luv u....
Hey people!! Wassup?! I noe my blog "died" but i revived it again. I'm officially dying of boredom cos I got nothing to do...
I dyed my hair apricot brown. It looks reddish brown. It's nice.
Yesterday, went to CCK cuzzies hse fer Mummy`s b'dae. Pooled money to buy her b'dae cake. Choc peppermint flava. Then nothin else happened. Staying over there next week.
Mummy gave me a hp. Must not use in front of my mother coz she doesn't allow me to hav hp.
On the days i nvr go to CCK, i juz stay at home and play solitaire all day long. That's wat it's like to be under parental control. It`s killing me to stay at home. I want my freedom back.
My own b'dae is coming in 28 days. My dad might let me get braces. Woohoo!
The reason why im sad is because of something arh. I better keep it confidential as it might hurts me even worse, if i explained it here right. Hmmmmm.. Currently im at my cuzzin's house. Well i can update my blog in her house. Oh yes i realised that my blog is dead. Ive no internet at home so i can only update it when im at my cuzzin's house or library.
Im oh soooooooo bored without someone special in my life. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahs! I hate him!!! Hes the heartbreaker! This is the first time a guy asked me to break up. Usually im the one who asked for it. But its okay, theres many fishes out there in the sea. Who are more better and kind-hearted than he is! Okay, i should be strong.
I might be here hurting and crying but he might be there laughing and happy seeing me like this.! OH FUCK NO! Im here bored, not lonely because hes not there for me =) Im happy for him because he said that he have found a better girl than me. Im soo happy to know that hes happy (: Just go ahead, cause you know what, Fidaiy? I aint regret losing you because you are nothing. You aint good-looking either but you have a kind heart that really attracts me. I dont look at your looks , okayy? DUUUUHHHH~
If other girls, they would have dump you somewhere because you have no looks but me, i go for personality and your characteristic. Not your looks, cause you got none! Get that clear, jubo! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Now, I got three words to give ya ok, Fidaiy? GO TO HELL ~ :DD
i`m single!! finally seh!!! ok my life will stay the same anyway... haiz~~ time to put my studies first coz i`m lagging on my studies.. but i feel empty.. coz it`s like losing the only person who ever cared about me... well, i`m used to it alredy.. coz i`m a lone wolf...
yo ppl!! wanna noe sumthin`?? my case is over but not officially!! i`m gonna be observed for the next 6 months!!! if i do sumthin` bad, i`m gonna be sent to the GIRLS` HOME(GH) i do not wanna go there cozi noe how they treat newbies there pretty scary.. btw, if u noe abt the vid, u don`t hav to juz whisper to urslf to make fun of me... juz say openly lah... EVEN THOUGH I MITE BE TEMPTED TO KICK UR ASS!!! MWA-AH-A-AH!!
wah sey!!! my cuzzie damn pro sia!! i didn`t even noe i change my whle entire blog... now 1/3 of the blog belongs to ... coz i got no time to see it anymore... btw, my bf isn`t talking to me sia... so sad... and i got a mxg to the ppl who has seen my video... i didn`t mean to do it... i was "persuded" to do it, ok?? to those ppl who r getting close to me juz to get the vid, i got bad news for u.... the vid ain`t with me... hahaha.... seriously speaking... i don even lyk doing it.. so i ain`t a horny gal, if u think i am , u must have lost ur brain!!!
Ok , ive change my url so that no more stupid cowards spammers can try to spam me . FYI , im not a coward , excuse me ok ? I just dont have peace when people came to my life and destroy my life full of their fucking nonsense and also full of childish behaviours (:
Welcome to my blog Lydia Karini aka DiaDeviL 14++
29 Nov 1994 single / TOTALLY availiable <33
I HATE MY SCHOOL!
But, I LOOVVE Harry!! hate me ? click here
Loves
I love my fam and frenz.
Especially Janette, Elizz and Dya!!
I love Harry loadzzz!
I love all music.
